NEW THOUGHTS FOR THE HOLIDAYS

TV tells us that the holiday season is a time for giving and for connecting with loved ones; with emphasis on the 'giving'.  Reality often conflicts with what we see on TV.  The holidays often become times of stress, tension, and just plain exhaustion. 

In order to achieve what the TV commercials, movies and shows convince us is the 'right' way to do things, we scurry around trying to buy the illusion.  We frequently give in the hopes of getting something back like love, appreciation, even gifts equal in value to what we give them.  In a way, we are bartering instead of giving.  I'll give you this gift if you give me what I want.  If the recipient doesn't play the game the 'right' way, we often feel deprived and unloved, sometimes even angry because others haven't fulfilled our expectations. 

The good news is that expectations give us a nice feeling of anticipation.  The bad news is that we often set ourselves up for disappointment, disillusionment and anger. Letting go of expectations moves giving into a far different realm.  You begin to truly give from the heart.  Giving this way brings a sense of joy, greater energy, and satisfaction, because it helps us re-connect with that part of ourselves that is often forgotten, our essential spiritual Self.  Following are a few ideas to help you give from your heart and make your holidays more genuine and fulfilling.

1. Make sure a portion of your giving is to someone who is in need - someone from whom you could not possibly expect something back in return. Give anonymously and notice how that feels.

2. Make sure all your giving is from the heart, not from obligation or barter.  Think about each person when selecting a gift.  Does it truly fit that person or is it just a convenient purchase so you can cross them off your list?

3. When those around you are stressed or pressured, and not able to be kind and loving to you, change your perception of their behavior.  Create three possibilities of why they are acting unkind or unloving.  You might want to see their unloving behaviors as an appeal for love coming out of some kind of fear or some sense of being overwhelmed.  Then, remind yourself that you really don't know exactly what their intention is and what you were assuming only makes you feel bad.  Acknowledging that you don't know, keeps you from being able to take it personally and thus reacting negatively yourself. 

Intentionally hold a loving thought for this person as you let go of your assumptions about their behavior.  As you do this, begin to notice how energized you begin to feel.

4. Hold compassionate thoughts for yourself as well as others.  Since everything begins as a thought, be vigilant to catch every critical, pressuring, judging, or anxious thought whether it's self or other directed.  Then, focus on a thought of loving compassion for yourself or someone else and notice the difference in the way you feel.  We can easily forget the power which we possess as thoughts in our minds. There are no idle thoughts, but rather, all thoughts reach forth having an effect of some kind, on our moods, on our bodies, and on all our relationships.

When we change our thoughts from thoughts of resentment, fear, or deprivation to thoughts of compassion and loving kindness, we not only heal our unhappiness, but we also help to bring healing to all the people around us.

Let all the beautiful holiday lights remind you to be the best 'light-worker' you can be by being the best 'you' that you can be always. 

Happy Holidays.